what fun is being cool if you cant wear a sombrero

proctalgia:

girls dont want you to be nice to them because they’re girls they want you to be nice to them because they’re human beings and you should be nice to everyone wtf is wrong with you

Posted 2 days ago With 71,901 notes

  • Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
  • Me: *turns up music*
  • Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
  • Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
  • Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
  • Me:
  • Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
  • Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
  • Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
  • Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
  • Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
  • Lady cop: I can make that happen.
  • Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
  • Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
  • Entire train: *applauds*

Posted 2 days ago With 493,290 notes

tongue-toyed:

i never really liked

my name

much

until i found out

what it tastes like

when you write it in frosting

on top of a cake

Posted 2 days ago With 409,120 notes

ven0moth:

tryna hug tall people like 

image

Posted 2 days ago With 220,507 notes

baeddelbludd:

LIFE HACK: disguise your nervous breakdown as a series of jokes

Posted 2 days ago With 401,890 notes

proctalgia:

girls dont want you to be nice to them because they’re girls they want you to be nice to them because they’re human beings and you should be nice to everyone wtf is wrong with you

Posted 2 days ago With 71,901 notes

macintush:

"It’s pronounced like jif"

Yeah well I don’t gif a fuck

Posted 2 days ago With 358,045 notes

robotlynx:

sighnless:

robotlynx:

lmao don’t try to scare me with that shit, everyone knows that skeletons aren’t fucking real. nerds

then explain this

image

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!JESUS CHRISTJESUS FUCK

Posted 2 days ago With 133,241 notes

55
meatypasta:

thank you shock mansion
336